Broken Cardboard Box; Box of Cardboard Broken

Broken cardboard box

Box of cardboard broken

Were you never, ever whole?

Were you never, ever complete?

And who broke you, cardboard box?

Always broken in half,

Or helplessly cut in two?


Broken cardboard box

Box of cardboard broken

Outside where the rain will always fall

But some day the sun will warm your face

Maybe not so broken

Broken not so much.

A Little Piece of Something

I'm terrified of the day when the memories of you aren't quite so easy to remember.
I question whether this would mean i'm forgetting you.

x

1095 Days

How am i supposed to put into words
Things that i can only feel
How being empty burns -
A loneliness that keeps me up at night
How can i put into words
How much it hurts to miss you
And how many days it's been
Since i've seen you smile
How can i put into words
That grief consumes me from the inside
Hurts me so much i can no longer cry
How can i put into words
How it feels to always be missing someone
An empty hole -
And a gap that will never be filled.
How can i put into words
That everything reminds me of you?


1095 Days

The Despair of Sleeping.

Wide awake

My only thought is sleeping

Wide awake

My only dream is dreaming.



Fast asleep

My only thought is waking

Fast asleep

My only dream is sleeping.

This Poem Has No Title

This poem-y piece of writing is approaching 2 years old. It's been sat in my folder without a proper title ever since i wrote it. I struggle to make sense of what i was really trying to convey through it but i think the main theme is a feeling of uncertainity about your identity. Not really knowing who you are - thinking that you're someone else, and not the person you always thought you were. Not the nicest thing i've ever written!

Feeling alone within and not really there
Feeling lost and in a dream,
Feeling like you're no-one, but you're everyone
On top of the world, being someone.
Someone with meaning,
Someone with purpose -
A wish needed to fulfil
But you can't, and you won't,
Because they won't show you how.
You were never meant to walk three peaks
You were never meant to breathe the sea
You were never meant to be that person -
Who walked this life full of cares,
Who held the hand of the ones that cry -
You were the one, inside, who cried,
You were the one, within, who died,
And you will stand alone tonight,
You will fight a war in your mind,
Against the ones you doubt,
Against you, yourself, your own,
You hate, you deceive, you won't be who you need -
Too many times and you tell yourself,
Too many lies and you hurt yourself,
Be free, you say, and let it go -
Just feel it go, hold it and watch it go
Be alone - be all alone,
Be free of the life you never had and was never real
Let yourself feel.
Let yourself be real.
And hold it down,
Cut it down,
Break it down.

Three Verses For Night-Time

When the day is in bed
Silence catches my breath,
And I think of all the pretty things
Flying around my head.

When the day is in bed
Our song hovers on my tongue
And i think of all the nights
We stayed up to hear the last drum

When the day is bed
Silence catches my breath
And i think of all the pretty little things
Flying around my head.

Welcome.

So, this is a new computer..hello.
You are here under sad cirucmstances. My faithful and loyal laptop, Acer, passed a way a couple of days ago. Although i treated him impeccably throughout his life, a simple unforeseen accident cut his precious life short. I miss him with every breath, but i welcome you, Packard Bell, with open arms. Maybe i'll begin to share my life with you. You will have the pleasure of my writing, my contemplations, my studies, my pastimes, my musical tastes, my photographic flair. I hope you enjoy everything i provide you with, and will, in return offer me the same support and kindess. I have to say, you're a good looking machine. I hope you don't take 'machine' as an insult - i'm afraid i'm not so hot on technological lingo, my vocabulary is limited in this area. We've known each other a day, and slowly i'm beginning to fill you with my personality. I may throw knowledge at you that you don't want to know - i might ask you to store the details of the next jumper i want to purchase, or recipes for bacon and feta cheese risotto. I might share my secrets with you, and i'll have to trust you to keep these safe. You'll become my number one confidant. In actual fact, you'll become a part of me. I hope you don't mind this - i am well aware you didn't choose me - i chose you. Let's hope we learn to live amicably. Thank you already for reminding me i need to call the insurance company tomorrow, and for playing one of my favourite cds. Thank you for allowing me access to facebook, and for transferring all my poems. There's a lot more to come, and so here begins our relationship - laptop and I. Oh, and btw, I blog...

Fearful

One day we’ll say goodbye
And we’ll kiss like we’ve never kissed
We’ll stand amongst the sea
And the waves will lap at my knee

It’s this day I am fearful for
The day the boats come to dock,
And the doors I held open will have to lock

My hopes will fade and I’ll start to dream
Dreaming of you as the one that got away
One day I’ll have to miss your face
And I’ll have to remember the way you taste

I’ll stick your photo on my wall
I’ll shed a tear when I hear your song
One day we’ll all be said and done
And I’ll have to face that you have gone.

Deceptive Poetry.

This poem won’t say anything i want it to say
i’ll save it all for another day
that day won’t come until it’s too late
and you’ll be wondering if it was fate

this poem won’t tell you the things i feel
i munch on the words like yesterday’s meal
i didn’t know that i could feel so much
but the heartbreak fades with each touch

this poem won’t say that i love you
it won’t tell me you love me too
it will hide every feeling i’ve ever felt
and pretend you made my heart melt

this poem won’t make you happy, nor sad,
an emotion-less being, it drives me mad
it will hide the truth from your eyes
i hope you know it’s all lies

this poem won’t tell you that i’m sad today
it’ll hide it with rhymes and pretty words to say
it won’t tell you that i cried tonight
and after all this time, i’ve seen the light.

Your Song.

Your song is beginning to play,
It’s lingering a bit inside my head today

Yours is the only song I ever want to hear,
I wish today could last for a year

Heavy beats and a muffled drum,
A pretty guitar that you strum

I sometimes wish I could sing in tune,
Just to whisper along with you

I’d stay awake so I could play,
We’d play until the break of day

Sometimes a song is all I need
To fill my heart with love and greed

I’d walk hand in hand through sound with you
Away with the tune, your song and you.

The Dot Of The I's.

I want to open the book of your life,
And read between all the lines.
I was caught in your dreams in fantasies i can’t comprehend
With words i don’t understand,
And I want to know everything you know:
To read your first chapter and take the meanings from the page,
I want to make sense of the rhyme and the fantasies,
To know your hopes, to cure your fears
I want to read about the time we first kissed,
And everything about me that one day you’ll miss
You’re riddled with secrets that i fear,
And a lifetime of love i wish i could be near
I want to read between your lines,
Read your book page by page
To be the fiction and the fact,
The rhetorical question and the dot of the I’s.

Bright Silhouettes

Come here and we’ll never have to feel alone
The night is dark, and I can feel the cold
The curtains breathe the shadows that i fear
Come here and we can make shapes in the light
We can dance and be bright silhouettes
We can cuddle like this was our first time
And passion exudes like we’ve never met
Come here and we shall christen the day
I’ll look in your eyes, it’ll make it ok
And when the day begins to show,
You’ll hold me tight, we’ll never let go.

My Words Have Left Me

My words have left me
I tried to speak but they got stuck
You took them from me and left me silent
I couldn’t pretend that I could talk
I let the truth speak from my eyes
I’m sorry that you became such a thief
And maybe I should have seen the signs
That being with you would have such an effect
You’d leave me speechless,
Taking the words from my mouth
And I’m only just beginning
To get back the feeling in my tongue,
To let the words touch and roll,
To feel the sound as it leaves me
I want to keep the words as mine,
But for now I’ll let you take them
And maybe in time we can learn to share.

Yesterday.

Yesterday i woke to find my thoughts were jumping through space
I was swimming through clouds and the rain had made me late.

Yesterday i woke to find my dreams were running out of town,
I was skipping after you and the pavements had let me down.

Yesterday i woke to find my heart was beating in rhyme
The roads that would lead me to you were long and somewhat intertwined.

Yesterday i woke to find my tears stung like angry bees,
The love i’d always held for you was disappearing through the trees.

Fixed With Glue.

Broken hearts can be fixed with glue
So we stayed up until at least 2
I stuck my hand to my heart
In the hope this would be a new start

We sang together, we danced a bit too
We made light of the fact we felt blue
I baked us a lemon tart
I almost felt a beat inside my heart

I walked away, i even skipped
It was that night i stopped being so tight lipped
Broken hearts can be fixed with glue
You made me feel maybe it was true.

It Will Not Stop, Forget Me Not.

I was always trying to catch the stars before they fell
Always reaching to touch the prize
And left with nothing but scars with a story to tell

It was hard to breathe when the world came down
All i wanted was one more afternoon
Just an hour to see you one last time,
Time to tell you i’d see you soon

I was always trying to catch the stars before they fell
Always reaching to touch the prize
And left with nothing but scars with a story to tell

And it’s on these days when i wish it the most
The days when all i see is your ghost
The clock moves on, the calendar changes
I’m stuck here, so many strange faces

There’s a tear i cry sometimes, somedays
When i remember your face and how life changes
I’ve grown an inch since we met
And held the memories with the necklace i kept

I was always trying to catch the stars before they fell
Always reaching to touch the prize
It’s days like this when i wish it was all lies
But it will not stop

Forget me not.

The Wrong Day.

Broke at noon,
Thought maybe they’d say:
‘That’s ok’
Instead, deathly stares and silent shadows,
Maybe i picked the wrong day -
The wrong day to break away,
The wrong hour to fall.

The World Can Be Too Much

You said it was all too much
Could no longer stand
It was hard to speak
When all of your world
Collapsed into grey
You were frozen by my delicate touch
Your shadows that burnt
You can no longer see
You no longer know how it is to feel
When you wake and your world
Doesn’t quite seem real
And the times that we kissed
Can’t make you heal
It wasn’t enough to be who you need
Fooled by everything,
Society’s greed
It brought you down,
A careless, chilling touch,
And now we see,
The world can be too much.

Maybe I Wish I Was Human.

Maybe i held your head too loosely
Maybe i should’ve been firm
Let my palms touch your skin
Maybe i should’ve whispered in your ear
Instead of just letting my face brush past your hair
Maybe i should’ve looked that little longer
Let you absorb the sky in my eyes
Watched as you realised
I’m not really real
The ways in which you’d define me
Aren’t really concrete
Maybe i wish i was human
Maybe i wish i could speak and feel
Take your hand and lead you to the sky
Show you my world
Help my wounds heal
Maybe i wish i could hold you forever
Til the end of the world brings us together.